Selecting a mate: that is what courtship and marriage is all about. Is there a formula that will work, or must it always be guesswork. Indeed there is a Biblical formula: however it may not be palatable to many, but at least give it some consideration. It may not provide all one would desire for the process, but look at the more considerable aspects it contains. This is it: It is found in Genesis Chapter 24. Abraham told his trusted servant to go find a wife for his son, but he placed a disclaimer on the process; he said, “Thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites in whose land I dwell.” MEANING: These local girls will not do. They are good for nothing idol worshipers, and not worshipers of God: not, as it were, Christian girls.
Marriages, it is said, are made in heaven, but I have found that they are made of more earthly stuff. This being so: wrong marriages are wrong; or go wrong, only because they begin wrong. The imperative to a good marriage is that it begins right. The right reason, the right premise, the right choice, and with the right ingredients to make it last. That is what Abraham wanted for his son.
This requires that a series of similarities be included in the mix that will provide the proper foundation for a lasting marriage. These include, but are not limited to: similar cultures, backgrounds, races, social, financial, and religions [which is a must]. It is, and as it should be, unthinkable for a Christian girl or boy marry a non-believer. It insures a lifetime of difficulty that denies them of the blessings of God on the marriage. “Be ye separate, come out from among them, touch not the unclean thing”[2 Cor. 6:17].
I hasten to say, that I do not mean that unless these ingredients are in proper place, the marriage will surely fail. Never!! It would be foolish to suggest this. However, when these ingredients are matched, it does insure a more likely prospect for the desired outcome. Remember, a child of God will not find a suitable mate in a singles bar.
What you see there, that is what you get: a cheap thrill seeker. You may be sure that when he, or she, becomes bored with you, the marriage, or life in general, they will return again to the trough from which they found the last slop. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule; but don’t bet your life and happiness on it. You have a better chance at Russian roulette.
Abraham sent his most trusted servant to find a suitable wife for his son. What should he look for? We find that in Genesis Chapter 24:14; It tells us, he prayed. Having come to a well in the country of Abraham’s kinsmen, [people of like mind and culture] he sought for guidance to make the right decision. He prayed; “Let it come to pass that the damsel [denotes a young girl, really a virgin] to whom I shall say, let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I might drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels also: let the same be she that Thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac: and thereby I shall know that Thou hast kindness unto my master.”
I hasten to say, that I do not mean that unless these ingredients are in proper place, the marriage will surely fail. Never!! It would be foolish to suggest this. However, when these ingredients are matched, it does insure a more likely prospect for the desired outcome. Remember, a child of God will not find a suitable mate in a singles bar.
What you see there, that is what you get: a cheap thrill seeker. You may be sure that when he, or she, becomes bored with you, the marriage, or life in general, they will return again to the trough from which they found the last slop. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule; but don’t bet your life and happiness on it. You have a better chance at Russian roulette.
Abraham sent his most trusted servant to find a suitable wife for his son. What should he look for? We find that in Genesis Chapter 24:14; It tells us, he prayed. Having come to a well in the country of Abraham’s kinsmen, [people of like mind and culture] he sought for guidance to make the right decision. He prayed; “Let it come to pass that the damsel [denotes a young girl, really a virgin] to whom I shall say, let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I might drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels also: let the same be she that Thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac: and thereby I shall know that Thou hast kindness unto my master.”
LESSONS TO BE LEARNED HERE:
When choosing a wife, if she can’t or will not water your camels: she is not the right mate. The same applies for the woman also. What does this mean?
If she or he cannot meet the basic requirements of providing stability and security for the home and family, look elsewhere. A great many girls today know nothing, and do not care to know the basic fundamentals of housekeeping, cooking, cleaning, caring for the home, caring for children [even having children], providing a right atmosphere for a working husband; who spends his day hard at work to secure the provisions for the home. This is an ingredient to insure failure. Again, if this is the case, look elsewhere.
To many guys can’t get home at dinner time to be with the loving wife; they have to stop off with the “BOYS” for a beer or two. This too insures failure in marriage. This is not a husband, he is not really a man, but a boy that thinks he is big. Bubba, you may be a hero at the office, and a sensation at the club, but if you are a zero at home, you are a failure; both as a man and as a real human being. Ladies, do not think that you can marry a frog, then kiss him and change him into a prince. It doesn’t matter how often you kiss him, he will still be a frog.
Woman; if you can’t cook cathead biscuits, make coffee and tea to taste; if you are a sloppy housekeeper, and a when he comes home from work, you look like you just got up; you are a failure as a wife and as a real woman. Shape up now: get in practice at being w
Marriage is a venture into a new world.hat a woman was created to be, a wife, a mother, the guardian and keeper of the household.
You see in every marriage there is the practical question; CAN SHE, OR WILL SHE BE WILLING TO WATER MY CAMELS? Can she or he, meet my needs, not my desires: but the needs of the home and family?
Abraham sent, and entrusted his servant to find a suitable mate for his son, his only son. It was a task of ultimate importance to Abraham, and to his son Isaac. It could not: it must not be taken lightly. Marriage is a venture into a new world, a land where each has never journeyed before, and it is a world from which one never returns. Thus it was imperative that the servant, make the right decision, a wrong choice was unthinkable.
First: He began by having come to the right place to find the right kind of girl. The right place for a God fearing girl or boy, to begin their search for a mate is in God’s house. Remember, when one is searching for a new car, they do not go to the Junk Yard to buy one. They do not want to begin by trying to salvage what someone else has cast away. They want the newest, the best, and the most serviceable model they can find, not what someone else discarded.
Secondly, He began with prayer, seeking God’s guidance to guide him in finding the right mate for Isaac. That is the place every young boy and girl should begin their search for their mate, with God, in prayer. Seek to find the mate He has already selected for you, and not what you would choose from the human perspective.
Thirdly: Not any damsel would do, she had to have, and meet specific requirements for him to know that it was God’s call and not his own selection. His requirements were that when he asked her for water to drink, she would say, “both [for] thou and I will also draw for thy camels..” Now drawing water for a man is one thing, but for ten camels {Gen. 24:10[that, is another thing; camels drink a lot of water. You see it was important that she not be a spindly weakling, but one who could bear up under the load of being a wife, bearing children, caring for her husband, and keeping house, not all can. Today’s lot of Barbee wanna-bees think, that if they have the right body measurements, right weight, hair is all pretty, dress is revealing enough to bring notice, heels are high enough to make the calves curve right, and enough paint to cover a tool shed, they are ready. It all may make you attractive to a gutter mind, and a lecherous soul, but it is hardly the right material for marital bliss. It is fine for moonlight smooching, but it will not water the camels when the going gets rough; and it will. .
Fourthly: Popping the question. Now asking her “let down thy pitcher and give to drink…” is definitely not recommended as proposal material. But, I guess that whatever works is OK. She must have said to him; “shetheh sadini, a loose interpretation; you look OK but your camels are dying of thirst. In today’s vernacular, why don’t you fix this jalopy or get a new one, bud. Whatever she said, when he saw her water all those camels, he knew that she had the right stuff. It is not the appearance that makes the world go round in marriage, it is having the right stuff to be able to stick with it in the tough times.
If she cant bake bread, fry bacon, make your eggs over light without breaking the yolks, what good is she. She may be whiz as a secretary, or at some office, but when you get home tired out, who cares? You can’t eat computer read-outs.
Fifthly: Here, there were no words of love and exchange of references, nor what schools attended, nor an exchange of photos and phone numbers. To be sure that if that is the way folks are starting a courtship today, it hasn’t been working out to well. It takes more than a romantic notion and some flattering nonsense to get a Christian courtship and a marriage going in the right direction. It takes a woman, or a man, that has given them selves to God first. They are not found on a dance floor, in a beer hall, in a singles bar, or a disco. They may be found in the house of God, among the people of God. That is where Rachel was found, at home with her God fearing family. Look there my friend.
We do not know what Rachel looked like, in today’s terms. But, Scripture tells us “she was very fair to look upon, a virgin” That is about as good as it gets. Women were not created to be matriarchs, or domestic princesses. Ladies, you were created by God; to be a “help meet to your husband” and a mother to his children. Ladies, take off your crown and put on your apron, be willing to water camels, or don’t marry at all and make some poor sap miserable. Rebecca had a spirit of service, willing to carry the load no matter how heavy, or how long it took. Rebecca looked at the pack that needed watering and got the idea right away that Isaac, her husband to be, liked camels. Eliazer bought a dozen from him. So ladies if you can’t water the camels, do not marry a camel lover.
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